Black People: I’m Calling You OUT!

by Trudy W. Schuett on July 22, 2004

in Uncategorized

I hope the following will be seen in the spirit of fun that it is intended to be.

Hey black people! I’m calling you out!

1) You think you dance better than we do? I got a few names for you: Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Cyd Charisse, and Gene Kelly. Also, say all you want about Vanilla Ice, but the boy could dance.

2) Shaft was cool, but James Bond is still our boy.

3) Yeah, yeah, you got Michael. But Larry Byrd was still one of the best who ever played the game.

4) Just admit it: you love the Bee Gees and Hall & Oates. You also love KC and the Sunshine Band. You can’t help yourself, can you?

5) Aretha was and is amazing, but give it to us: Dusty Springfield could SING.

6) Who kicked more ass: Shaka Zulu or Patton? Discuss.

7) Richard Pryor is one of the funniest men who ever lived, but so is Rodney Dangerfield.

8) Yeah, yeah, Halle Berry may be the most beautiful woman alive, but was anyone ever more beautiful than Marilyn Monroe?

9) Oprah may be great, but in the dark of night we all like watching Jerry Springer just a little bit more, don’t we?

(Note: If you have no sense of humor, please don’t respond to this!)

{ 30 comments }

1 Brain Fertilizer 07.22.04 at 7:24 pm

re: no. 8.

Yes. Gosh, yes: Audrey Hepburn. And Raquel Welch, for that matter.

2 Juliette Ochieng 07.22.04 at 8:40 pm

Ain’t dancing (at least not to that sorry-a** list of music you put forth). Bring the Funk and then we’ll talk. :-P

3 BigDan 07.22.04 at 9:29 pm

Larry Byrd?

4 S-Train 07.22.04 at 10:16 pm

1. Astaire, Rogers, Charisse, and Kelly? Who the hell are they. :)

2. Bond is the man, but who has the cooler theme song… SHAFT! Ya damn straight!

3. Bird cooler than a fan. Much luv.

4. Hall &Oates and KC, YES! Bee Gees, NOPE!

5. Dusty can sing her ass off, but Aretha will sing everyone’s ass off.

6. I kicked more ass! heh heh heh…

7. Pryor vs. Dangerfield? Two different styles, man. Both funny in their own ways.

8. I’m a hood boy. I like Jada Pinkett-Smith! :p

9. JERRY RULES! OPRAH SUCKS! ‘Nuff said.

5 Darmon Thornton 07.22.04 at 11:46 pm

1. Pfft. Gregory Hines, Debbie Allen, Bill Robinson, and Savion Glover any day of the week, baby! Vanilla Ice? Stop. Hammer Time!

2. What S-Train said.

3. Byrd had game, but Magic and Jordan always went to town.

4. Yeah, we claim KC, H&O, and Wild Cherry! Also, I’ll take “Benny and the Jets” any day over “Staying Alive”.

5. Dusty could sing. Teena Marie can sing. But you have to give the Queen of Soul her propers: She. Can. SANG.

6. Patton supervised the ass-kickings. Shaka was hands-on.

7. Rodney may be funny, but Richard commands respect. :-D

8. What S-Train said.

9. Jerry may have all the dysfunctional guests, but he doesn’t have a media empire and a book club. :-D

6 Darmon Thornton 07.22.04 at 11:50 pm

One more thing: I will have to concede that Bob Ross looked real fly with an Afro. ;-)

7 Dean Esmay 07.23.04 at 12:52 am

Patton supervised the ass-kickings. Shaka was hands-on.

Laughing my ass off….

8 Sean Kinsell 07.23.04 at 12:58 am

Dean:

“Aretha was and is amazing, but give it to us: Dusty Springfield could SING.”

Yeah, Dean, re. 5: Wouldn’t it have been better to compare Dusty (We love you, Dusty!) with, say, Dionne Warwick? In terms of genre playing field, they match up better, and they show both peoples to best advantage. You have Dusty’s version of “I Just Don’t Know What to Do with Myself” and Dionne’s version of “Anyone Who Had a Heart,” and you just don’t need anything else. Aretha’s in a class by herself the way the Beatles are.

And I agree with the “Bee Gees suck” contingent. Blech.

Darmon Thornton:

“Jerry may have all the dysfunctional guests, but he doesn’t have a media empire and a book club. :-D

Totally. Can you imagine what J

9 S-Train 07.23.04 at 2:01 am

Darmon: And a hands-on ass-kickin’ beats supervising one anyday, bruh!

10 Mark Noonan 07.23.04 at 2:35 am

Brain,

Thank God you got that in there – without a doubt, Audrey Hepburn was the most beautiful woman who ever lived…though scoping out some of the trailers for “Catwoman” does give one pause…Berry is a mighty sexy lady.

11 Shawn Liu 07.23.04 at 8:55 am

Sorry dude, in the area of B-List Late Night Talk Shows: Arsenio trumps Chevy

12 molotov 07.23.04 at 1:38 pm

Y’all got game on the coolness quotient, y’all got game.

1. True, true. But you gotta go back 60 years for your good white dancers list?

2. Bond is cool, but S-Train is right. Shaft’s theme song is way better.

3. Hell, we almost consider Larry an honorary colored. Much luv. But we ain’t only got Michael to your Larry. We also have Bill, Patrick, Kareem, Magic, etc.

4. Bee Gees, EHLL NO. We secretly dig Hall &Oates (who hit the R&B list a few times) and KC.

5. Dusty can sing. Aretha can SANG. Mahalia Jackson was on another level on BOTH of ‘em

6. Touche, Patton beats Zulu. Dr. King stomped all over Bull Connor’s tactics in the 1960s and had lil’ kids embarrassing him all over the damn planet though.

7. True

8. Marilyn Monroe was beautiful. Dorothy Dandridge was even more beautiful though.

9. I fess up to watching Springer a few years back, but not now. And who’s the billionaire?

13 triticale 07.23.04 at 2:57 pm


Can you imagine what J

14 MontieBurchett 07.23.04 at 3:10 pm

Dean,

Counterpoint to 1, 5 and most especially 8:

Beyonce’ Knowles.

15 Dean Esmay 07.23.04 at 5:40 pm

Hey, some of the fly girls were white, and Christopher Walken and George Hamilton can cut a rug, you just don’t see it too often….

:-)

16 Andrew | BB 07.23.04 at 6:24 pm

Should of picked Jonh Travolta ‘ stead of Vanilla Ice.

George Hamilton IS black.

17 B. Durbin 07.23.04 at 11:21 pm

Ah, yes, that Christopher Walken video (Weapon of Choice), a great man dancing in a cheap suit not built for it… I’d like to see him doing choreography in an outfit designed for dancing. Bet it’d be like the first time I saw An American in Paris, thinking, So *that’s* why guys dance, so sexy…

18 Casey Tompkins 07.23.04 at 11:45 pm

1- No one’s mentioned the late, great, Gregory Hines yet.

2- Gotta call this a draw; both very cool, very studly. Shaft is the leather-jacket guy, while Bond goes dinner-jacket instead. Apparently both approaches work well, and wouldn’t you just love to see Samuel L. Jackson and Pierce Brosnan team up together?

3- Stayin’ out of it. Not a big b-ball fan.

4- Dean, you’ve lost it. Why even think about Bee Gees and Hall &Oates when you have the Platters, the Four Tops, Isley Brothers, Gladys and the Pips, Sam &Dave (so much for H&O heh!), and the constantly fantastic Temptations?

5- Agree that Aretha would kick Dusty’s narrow butt across the parking lot. And if the Queen of Soul ever wanted a break we would just call in Billie Holiday. Are there any other questions? :)

6- Gotta go with Georgie; he’s my boy. But you have to give Chaka props for inventing a whole system of doctrine and tactics; I’m tempted to rank him over Napoleon in that respect.

7- Rodney? Compared to Richard? WTF!? Man, that’s like comparing a Beetle to a ‘68 Camaro SS.

8- Nope. No. Nononono. Halle, hands down!! She is, quite possibly, the most perfect woman I’ve ever seen.

9- Just for fun, gotta go with the old hometown favorite, Jerry. I mean, how can you resist a man who paid a hooker with personal check, but still got elected mayor! Of freaking Cincinnati!

Jerry rocks: Oprah would never do a show about “Transsexual Nazi Strap-on Bitches Impregnated by Alien Artificial Insemination!”

19 Steven Malcolm Anderson 07.24.04 at 1:05 pm

Thomas Sowell’s spectrum (in his book “A Conflict of Visions”) of the “constrained vision” (empiricist, pessimistic) vs. the “unconstrained vision” (rationalist, optimistic) is extremely interesting. I think about it all the time.

20 dcthornton.com 02.01.06 at 10:30 pm

Meanwhile…

…Dean Esmay’s on a roll. Check out today’s entries.

21 Cornelius Crane Chase 02.05.06 at 7:31 pm

Cornelius Crane Chase

Replace mp3-*-name.mp3 with the names of your songs (using Terminal, you can just drag and drop the file/names to Terminal and it’ll add the name/path). The “>” is the output pipe, and the “joined-songs.mp3″ would be the resulting name. You can change this to whatever name you want.

22 Truman Capote 02.05.06 at 7:37 pm

Truman Capote

You need the files in the order you want them joined on a CD and on import there is an option to join.Works like a dream.

23 Gary Cooper 03.31.06 at 3:23 am

Gary Cooper

might do the job. Its for Linux (and Windows) but I would expect to be able to compile it under OS X.

24 Brothers Joyce 03.31.06 at 12:01 pm

Brothers Joyce

Maybe you should try Google for a change ;) Google Search: Join mp3s, check the 3rd en 7th result.

25 Alice Cooper 04.01.06 at 1:18 pm

Alice Cooper

used to use a program called Cool Edit to do this kind of work as well as other audio editing things. I’m not even sure if it’s around anymore. This was a long time ago.

26 David Robert Jones 06.02.06 at 6:18 am

David Robert Jones

have spent some time converting and tagging all thee 42 hours into mp3. i was wondering if poeple here are interested in it, as I have already spent a lot of time making it IPOD compactable.

27 David Bowie 06.03.06 at 12:23 am

David Bowie

I am so thrilled to find this being served for FREE. This is the greatest discovery I have ever made on the web.

28 Elliott Goldstein 06.03.06 at 11:36 pm

Elliott Goldstein

The instructions in the article are really easy to follow – in fact, they deserve to be inscribed in stone for the benefit of humankind (and the puzzlement of future archaeologists).

29 Lily Chauchoin 06.05.06 at 12:45 pm

Lily Chauchoin

If not, can anyone recommend a good tool for turning RealAudio streams into mp3?

30 Shecky Greene 06.06.06 at 9:48 pm

Shecky Greene

If not, can anyone recommend a good tool for turning RealAudio streams into mp3?

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