“The way the advertising industry portrays men has drawn increasing scrutiny in both the trade press and the mainstream media. Defenders of the status quo — in which men are depicted as irresponsible fathers and lazy, foolish husbands — are starting to feel outnumbered. It’s an understandable feeling…
“The evidence is clear: ‘Man as idiot’ isn’t going over very well these days.”
My new column, Advertisers: Men Are Not Idiots (Advertising Age, 4/14/08), co-authored with Richard Smaglick of www.fathersandhusbands.org, appeared recently in Advertising Age, one of the largest advertising industry publications. To write a Letter to the Editor, click on editor@adage.com.
The piece is part of Advertising Age’s “CMO Strategy” section–a section directed towards marketing and advertising executives [Chief Marketing Officers]. Our column there is an opportunity to, as they say, “Speak truth to power.”
In the column, we gave three specific suggestions for the advertising industry:
“Create more ads that are father-positive. Some recent examples include AT&T’s touching father-daughter ad ‘Monkey’; First Choice Holidays’ ‘Slow-Motion Hugs’; and Ford’s father-son ad ‘We Know.’
“As we consider whether it’s wise to make men the butt of every joke, we should also consider the joke itself. Many see the 1960s as the golden age of advertising. Those who crafted the ads of that era created work of superb quality, seldom if ever resorting to the contempt, shame and aggressive ridicule of today’s ads.
“When an ad does need to poke fun at somebody, stop automatically defaulting to men as fools.”
Glenn Sacks, www.GlennSacks.com
[Note: If you or someone you love is faced with a divorce or needs help with child custody, child support, false accusations, Parental Alienation, or other family law or criminal law matters, ask Glenn for help by clicking here.]
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Letter sent to the editor:
I am a consumer and do not work in the advertising industry. More importantly I am the father of an adolescent boy and we watch a lot of television together. Thank you for publishing the article “Advertisers: Men Are Not Idiots”; I have had to explain more than once to my son that a man in a commercial is pretending to be stupid to sell the product. I’ve even seen sexist portrayals of dumb boys/smart girls in cereal commercials – messages that my son, who isn’t stupid, picks up on and has to deal with. As a parent it is my responsibility to teach him to think critically about the world, and the portrayals of helpless or stupid men (and boys) on TV do not pass without one of us broaching the ad and discussing it. Not only do these ads turn off one person, they end up annoying two – which I don’t believe is their intended purpose.
Times have changed but you wouldn’t know it by the commercials on TV. Both my wife and I work, and I end up doing most of the cooking, kitchen clean up and laundry. I doubt we are the only family in suburbia with this arrangement. While commercials have no trouble portraying women in the workforce, they have yet to show men considering what to cook for dinner or which laundry detergent to use – at least without making them look like complete buffoons waiting for “mommy” to come home and save them. Guess what? Those are decisions that I make. All I can say is make fun of me at your own peril.
Regards,
Scott Kirwin
In my opinion, a real man is able to casually ignore this sort of thing. Unless you think this sort of commercial is accurate, I don’t see why it would offend you.
Dave Justus’s last blog post..Pennsylvania Primary
I always love that “if you’re a real man you’ll just suck it up when you’re being abused” attitude. It’s also really great if fathers don’t care what message their kids get about men from TV.
Good letter, Scott. And I happen to know women who would agree with you on all of that, by the way.
About a year ago I was asked by a marketing company to watch an episode of a new TV show they were thinking about putting on the air. I don’t think it would be called a pilot because it wasn’t even aired yet, and I’m imagining they do a lot of these pre-screenings for shows that don’t actually wind up airing.
Anyway, it was yet another show about a complete idiot husband, clueless about the world, with a smart, domineering, and sometimes even threatening wife. I savaged it in my review, and it never made it on the air so far as I know. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t the only one who expressed contempt for this contemptible trend in Hollywood.
Then you have a very narrow view of what it means to be a “real man”.
To me a “real man” is someone that knows how to clean a kitchen as well as an AK-47; that knows his way around a grocery store as well as Home Depot. A “real man” is a three dimensional character, not the two dimensional laughing stock portrayed by Hollywood.
I’m trying to raise a “real man” but I’m competing with Society. I have to win and I’ll do everything that it takes to do that – including telling ad execs to take a long walk off a short pier.
So if you admit you’re competing with society, why do you not challenge society to change? Isn’t that your right? Why are you ceding that authority to society?
“In my opinion, a real man is able to casually ignore this sort of thing. Unless you think this sort of commercial is accurate, I don’t see why it would offend you.”
I used to shrug it off too until it dawned on me that boys are seeing this junk. Now I cannot watch it at all. Guess it’s just part of getting older.
I do and I have. But honestly I don’t know what is best for Society all the time; I do know what’ s best for me and my Kid.
I’m not. I’m responsible for raising the Kid – not Society. When Society tries to take over my job, I push back. It throws up a lame brained father in a commercial, I discuss it with the Kid. Then I show him by example what a father should be like: tolerant, playful, insightful, hard-working, humble… Vicious when necessary…
I see what you’re saying, and I respect it, but you can do more. What about the sons that don’t have fathers as thoughtful as you? Or who have no fathers at all?
I think a real man can take a stand for them as well.
Kevin
What are you suggesting?
I’m one man responsible for one other person on this planet right now. All I can do is live my life according to my conscience, do the best I can and pick my battles carefully.
Scott,
I’m suggesting that there are a lot of sons out there without fathers as thoughtful and dedicated as you and that men should do what their conscience dictates for these poor souls.
I will not tell another man how he should raise his own kid, nor what energy he should spend on children that are not his own. So, I’ll tell you what I’d do.
If writing an e-mail to an advertising company is all it takes to change the way men are portrayed in popular media, the very media you must compete against for the attention of your son, then, as a man, I see no problem doing that.
As I see it, men don’t just look after their own. Wolves can do that much. Men make it their responsibility to look after others as well. They go beyond what is expected of them and do what many will not, not just for their own sake, or the sake of their family, but for the sake of those unwilling or unable to do so for themselves.
If we eached looked after our own only, what a pitiful sight we’d all be.
And when asked by the Almighty Himself, “Why didn’t you care for this one,” and I’ll be asked that because I’ve not done all I certianly can, I’m really not looking forward to answering, “It wasn’t my responsibility.” If not mine, then whose?
Kevin
I agree with the sentiment, and I do what I can. I treat my son’s friends with the same honesty and care that I treat him. I spend time with them, and do things with them like shoot BB guns and archery that many men don’t do.
At my job I talk to younger men and try to live by example. I don’t drink, smoke or womanize. I’ve been faithful to my spouse for 17 years and make it plain how I feel about the woman I love. When I have the opportunity to give advice, I do it with humility.
I can’t mentor all the lost boys, but I can provide them with an example that all is not lost for them.
I was one of them after all.
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