GTA IV is just not my thing, but I can see how the constant violence can start to grate and become boring.  So if you’re looking for suggestions, here are two Xbox titles that have been out for a while now and may start showing up in the replay bin:

My favorite single-player game of the moment right now is Mass Effect. It’s a huge game world, it has a very deep plot with fascinating characters, (there’s a published sci-fi author leading the dev team), solid gameplay, customizeable characters (you can customize everything from facial appearance to your combat skillsets, and even whether you want your character to be the good "paragon" or the ruthless "renegade", which has a great influence on the way scenes unfold), and jaw-dropping visuals.

For Multiplayer, of course, it’s Team Fortress 2.  It’s built for multiplayer from the ground up, and you can choose a role that fits your play style (heavy weapons and soldiers for pure combat, spies and snipers for the sneakier types, engineers and medics for those who like a more support role, etc.) and lots of game choices.  And if you get it with the Orange Box, you also get Half Life 2, which is good, and Portal, which is, in a word, awesome.

(P.S.  If you want even better game reviews, check out Zero Punctuation… definitely NSFW!)

In the meantime, for now, I think the reviews I’ve read have made it pretty clear that most of this stuff is more suggestive than openly descriptive, and what I’ve seen is not worse than a lot of the movies and such he’s been allowed to watch (in my view anyway, because I find slasher flicks infinitely more disturbing and worrying than semi-realistic depictions of prostitution). I’m still monitoring his use of the game, however, and also still discuss it with him. As I suspected, after initial excitement he seems to be getting increasingly bored with the game, and uncomfortable himself with some of the content. Mostly I think that’s a good growing experience.

Still, I’ve asked his mom to discuss it with me. If she doesn’t want to, then I’ll continue on my current path. If she does, then, we can strategize on how to either minimize his exposure, or even non-traumatically remove the game (like swapping it for something else in the used bin). It’s gonna depend. She knows how to reach me.

Horror movies and certain games like Destroy all Humans, Halo 3 and others like them go over the top to flaunt they are indeed make-believe.  The entire Grand Theft Auto series has gone the extra mile to be the most realistic game on the market. Realistic blood, sex, violence, drug use, etc.  The only arcade-ish aspect is target system that makes it too easy to kill.

I appreciate the sense of context you’ve thoughtfully given about how you’ve allowed your children a healthy media diet.

I don’t get the slippery slope bit, especially since you are the parent. Just because you foolishly allowed your child to watch horror flicks at 6 doesn’t mean you can’t stop them from playing violent video games at 10.

That’s like me saying I taught Jake to hit you with a toy baseball bat at 6, so it’s okay for him to hit you with the real thing at 14.

In GTA IV it’s not the violence that is the problem. It’s the adult situations. The gratuitous drug use, vulgarity, innuendo. You can even go to a STRIP club in the game.

Prepubescent children are ill equipped to understand it all.  The fact that you dislike the game tells me you haven’t even scratched the surface on how truly bad it is for children.

When GTA IV came out I was at my mom’s and made a joke about how I can’t wait to get home to kill some whores.  Jake laughed. His mom asked why he thought it was funny. He did not know, but he had heard the word before. She asked two questions in quick succession, Jacob only heard the first and his response was: "You Mom".  The second question was, "Who does that remind you of?". Immediately, I defended Jake and said he didn’t know what the word meant. The boy was in tears because he inadvertently called his mom a whore. The tears flowed heavily when he learned what the word truly meant.

So do you think he will know what it means when a hooker says in game: "I can put my whole fist in my mouth, you like that don’t you"

Or how about when an innocent person gets shot and they scream: "Please, Please don’t kill me"

The dialog in the game is very expansive covering many adult topics: abuse, alcoholism, pedophilia, rape, incest, drug addiction, mafia,  assassination, execution, jealousy, morality etc..

He may learn a word or phrase in the game and repeat it at school. Next thing you know Social Services come knocking on Mom & Dad’s door looking for "lines of chop".

If the game was just about blood and guts and an awesome soundtrack, it would be no big deal.

Liberty City tries to be a living breathing virtual city. And by all accounts and accolades, has succeeded.

All the virtual people in it are programmed independently to react differently to each situation.

There are psychotic girlfriends, and there are compassionate ones. How can a 10 year old, who still thinks girls are "icky", process this??

The short answer is, he can’t.

Very true. My kids played violent video games and they watched Bugs Bunny and they’re doing just fine. During the school year, kid’s lives are usually full of stress and boredom. Video games and TV shows provide a much-needed break.

Summertime is different, though, it’s a time to explore. Teaching Jacob to navigate the neighborhood is a great idea. For me, summertime was all about bike riding around the neighborhood, swimming at the shore or at the lake, hiking and camping. If kids get a chance to lead the way on a hike, or if they do something like swimming a certain distance, camping overnight, etc., it can give them a real sense of accomplishment.

I’m not sure I agree with you on the age thing, a child can be way above age in intelligence and emotion but they are STILL a child.  But as you say, that is your call.  And I do admire the way you have found to be in touch just not by talk but by an interactive way, every day.  That can only be a good thing for both of you.  I hope that can be carried through to the younger one also. 

We have our children and have such hopes for what they and we will become.  It is a really long haul process.  My youngest child is 47 (EEKS!!, how can that be?) and we are still working out some issues from interaction with his dad, my husband of 50 years. We love our child intensely at birth.  Sometimes that can be disrupted, I’m not saying it was in our case, but I could tell you about a nephew…  Anyway in adulthood with our children we still love them intensely, have very good relationships with them and my prayer for you is, that will be your outcome 40 years  from now.

Someone is always going to be around to criticize your parenting decisions. With me it was never video games – it was bedtime. I didn’t get home ’til 6pm when they were babies – why would I put them to bed at 7pm?

I hope I can get them into hiking and backpacking, which is about the most physical thing I do…

foobarista’s last blog post..More weight loss info…

Loved em.  All played on PC, though.  GTA 4 will most likely hit PCs in the Fall or at Xmas, and I will most defnitely be getting it. 

As for if a 10 year old should be playing it – eh, like you say, that is an individual parents decision that should be based on the specific child.  The world is different now than when we were 10.  Being 10 today is probably like being 12 or so back in 1980 or so.  I don’t think it’s all that crazy.

My daughter is 8 and turning 9 in 2 months and she plays Sims 2 which has some mildly adult oriented content – dating, mating, etc. – and the game is rated T for Teen, but I think it’s fine for her.  Hard to imagine more benign content, frankly.  But one of her friends is just not allowed to play it, period.   

As for Tipper Gore and the PMRC: the objections raised by the 3 artists who actually showed up for the hearings– Frank Zappa, John Denver, and Dee Snyder (man do I wish they had recorded some sort of super-group single) were essentially as follows:
1) The government does not, or should not, have the right to force labels on an unwilling industry.
2) The PMRC was reading too much into the music– Dee Snyder infamously accused Tipper of having a dirty mind.
3) The entire issue was another lamentable chapter in the endless exercise of blaming various elements of popular culture for the "downfall of civilization" (Aristophanes wrote a comedy regarding this very thing–"The Frogs" I think– several thousand years ago, in which he interviews 3 dead poets to decide which one can save Athenian society by returning to life. The idea that they needed a dead author to save society was only partly tongue-in-cheek in the context of the play.)
4) One of the Senators serving on the congressional panel had a spouse on the side of the PMRC, which was just kinda sketchy in general. When Snyder was told not to accuse "Senator Gore’s wife" of having a dirty mind, he reminded the panel that he was addressing Tipper Gore, a member of the PMRC, not "Senator Gore’s wife."
5) That concerned parents should listening to their children’s music themselves and discuss it with them as a more actionable way of dealing with that situation.

I don’t have any personal sympathy for nanny-staters– and this was literal nanny-statism–at all, even when their desired ends are reasonable. The PMRC and congress went about this all wrong, basically got "served" during the hearings, and succeeded only in inventing a sticker that many artists were quick to note all but guaranteed increased sales of their albums.