So, even though this is quite belated now, here’s what I wanted to post:

The first thing that came to mind when I read this post is that the reason you were hungry for real people, life and contact is that these are the things we’re wired for, though they are, in our wired world, sometimes the hardest things to find. I too buy candles hoping it will take the edge off my isolation and muzzling, as have we all for as long as we’ve celebrated the winter solstice.

The second thing was that though we know we are in fact much more than our positions on any given thing, others insist we have become our positions with so much energy and persistence that we begin to believe we are. And then we do become entombed, though not by our choice.

Third, you may try to shed all positions, but we can’t, not without becoming the bland game that is the major media, so it’s probably not worth trying to do so. You have always been the camera you say you now want to be. You have always, from what I can tell, told others what you saw or heard. I hope you keep doing it, and that you abandon the plan of having no position at all. Having a position just means telling it from where we sit; it doesn’t mean we’re not open to adjusting our views as new information comes to light.

WHERE ON EARTH WAS I BEING DEFENSIVE?

This is so frustrating Dean. I can’t imagine where you detected it this time.

Did you think that when I wrote: “It’s so nice being in touch with you people again…” that I was being sarcastic?

I meant it, straight up.

If you thought I was being sarcastic, WHY did you think that?

I very very very rarely descend to using saracsm.

I really want to clear this up Dean. Please tell me exactly where and when I was being “defensive” on your blog, about your blog, in exchange with your readers.

I’ve never been much of a talker, and when I do say something, I work hard to make sure I’m getting my thoughts out correctly.

In fact, I’m still amazed at how many people just seem to yap at each other.

I think we should write as if we are speaking to 7 people is all I meant, because using this mental trick, we can trick ourselves into writing more openly and letting people in on our actual thoughts. This continues to be my goal, as a kind of answer to the traumas of 2o plus years in “media.”

Media is poker, posture, abuse, repressed violence. Getting the other guy and perpetuating shame.

I have been dismayed to see so many blogs become spores of the same tradition.

So nice to be in contact with you all again.

I’m glad to hear I’m not alone in that.

But I’m still trying to figure out if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, and what, if anything, it means.

I enjoyed the post, Celia. It’s good to see you again. Oh, and sorry to disappoint, but I’m sure Dean can tell you there’s a few more than seven.

I think probably people with a lot of experience in traditional writing find blogging more difficult, because they try to polish each piece to a lapidiary perfection and fit it into an elegant framework with their other writings.