Comments on: The Truth About Intimate Abuse http://deanesmay.com/2009/12/01/the-truth-about-intimate-abuse/ Defending the liberal tradition in history, science, and philosophy. Sat, 11 Feb 2012 23:34:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: jrogge http://deanesmay.com/2009/12/01/the-truth-about-intimate-abuse/#comment-180075 jrogge Fri, 04 Dec 2009 03:43:40 +0000 http://deanesmay.com/?p=18012#comment-180075 That is true Dean and also true about society having a double standard on it. Statistics in a few papers I stumbled across while researching the topic of abuse gave very interesting numbers for abuse and adultery. I believe there s a small link between them myself. Abuse was about 60/40 favoring men (which is not that askew) and adultery was practically 50/50. It was also argued that adultery can be shallow, but also some use it as a form of abuse and manipulation. the papers were unfortunately a bit old (4 or 5 years) and it would not surprise me if someone were to do another study bringing in more incentives to get people to confess would make those numbers higher. The courts also favor the woman in domestic matters which is entirely a societal issue. Laws made in effort to protect women were worded as gender neutral in many case to allow for fairness, but people do not interpret the letter of the law, but how they intuit the law in many cases leaving the male at a disadvantage. That is true Dean and also true about society having a double standard on it. Statistics in a few papers I stumbled across while researching the topic of abuse gave very interesting numbers for abuse and adultery. I believe there s a small link between them myself. Abuse was about 60/40 favoring men (which is not that askew) and adultery was practically 50/50. It was also argued that adultery can be shallow, but also some use it as a form of abuse and manipulation. the papers were unfortunately a bit old (4 or 5 years) and it would not surprise me if someone were to do another study bringing in more incentives to get people to confess would make those numbers higher.

The courts also favor the woman in domestic matters which is entirely a societal issue. Laws made in effort to protect women were worded as gender neutral in many case to allow for fairness, but people do not interpret the letter of the law, but how they intuit the law in many cases leaving the male at a disadvantage.

]]> By: Dean Esmay http://deanesmay.com/2009/12/01/the-truth-about-intimate-abuse/#comment-180028 Dean Esmay Wed, 02 Dec 2009 19:03:11 +0000 http://deanesmay.com/?p=18012#comment-180028 Jared: Battered men don't go to the hospital, as a rule, whether they need to or not. Yet it is true, in a physical confrontation, certainly the odds of a man "winning" are greater; yet we know from copious research now that women tend to even the odds by using weapons and relying on ambushes (like when he's asleep). We also know with increasing certainty that men who are victims are often dismissed and therefore don't reveal that they weren't mugged or attacked by strangers but that their significant other is the one who injured them. We also know, with increasing certainty, that in a large number of cases where a man is injured by his significant other, the police and society as a whole blame him anyway because after all he's a man. So it shouldn't surprise that you don't see many men in this situation in the hospital. Even if they're there--and some just wouldn't go period--they won't always admit to you what really happened. I've known men(plural) this has happened to. It's not pretty how they're treated. Jared: Battered men don’t go to the hospital, as a rule, whether they need to or not. Yet it is true, in a physical confrontation, certainly the odds of a man “winning” are greater; yet we know from copious research now that women tend to even the odds by using weapons and relying on ambushes (like when he’s asleep). We also know with increasing certainty that men who are victims are often dismissed and therefore don’t reveal that they weren’t mugged or attacked by strangers but that their significant other is the one who injured them. We also know, with increasing certainty, that in a large number of cases where a man is injured by his significant other, the police and society as a whole blame him anyway because after all he’s a man.

So it shouldn’t surprise that you don’t see many men in this situation in the hospital. Even if they’re there–and some just wouldn’t go period–they won’t always admit to you what really happened.

I’ve known men(plural) this has happened to. It’s not pretty how they’re treated.

]]> By: Trudy W. Schuett http://deanesmay.com/2009/12/01/the-truth-about-intimate-abuse/#comment-180020 Trudy W. Schuett Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:23:03 +0000 http://deanesmay.com/?p=18012#comment-180020 It should never have been a political issue, any more than alcoholism or mental illness any other human problem. What should be important is that there are people who need help; not who they are, or how many. I was talking to a woman yesterday on the phone @ my domain/website co. I deal with, and as she has degrees in forensic anthropology and etc., she expressed her dismay at the interference of government and the extra complications it causes people. As if it wasn't already complex enough! Unfortunately there's an element in today's society that believes if you make a law about a problem, that makes the problem go away. It should never have been a political issue, any more than alcoholism or mental illness any other human problem.

What should be important is that there are people who need help; not who they are, or how many.

I was talking to a woman yesterday on the phone @ my domain/website co. I deal with, and as she has degrees in forensic anthropology and etc., she expressed her dismay at the interference of government and the extra complications it causes people. As if it wasn’t already complex enough!

Unfortunately there’s an element in today’s society that believes if you make a law about a problem, that makes the problem go away.

]]> By: jrogge http://deanesmay.com/2009/12/01/the-truth-about-intimate-abuse/#comment-180018 jrogge Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:07:50 +0000 http://deanesmay.com/?p=18012#comment-180018 Besides, women are far, far better at mental cruelty than men. Have I seen a couple of patients in my clinicals that were suffering from depression only to find out that these men were browbeat into a very sad state of poor self esteem? You bet. I find it sort of refreshing in a way. Women and men get more and more equal everyday. One day the abuse that women dish out will be recognized for what it is, and it is slowly getting that way. Still, I have encountered more battered women than men. Saying there's more though does not mean it makes this a non-troversy, and the actual statistics countrywide are not that askew. Besides, women are far, far better at mental cruelty than men. Have I seen a couple of patients in my clinicals that were suffering from depression only to find out that these men were browbeat into a very sad state of poor self esteem? You bet.

I find it sort of refreshing in a way. Women and men get more and more equal everyday. One day the abuse that women dish out will be recognized for what it is, and it is slowly getting that way. Still, I have encountered more battered women than men. Saying there’s more though does not mean it makes this a non-troversy, and the actual statistics countrywide are not that askew.

]]> By: Trudy W. Schuett http://deanesmay.com/2009/12/01/the-truth-about-intimate-abuse/#comment-180013 Trudy W. Schuett Wed, 02 Dec 2009 10:28:44 +0000 http://deanesmay.com/?p=18012#comment-180013 The feminists have been very good at presenting it as both a political issue, and a "women's" issue, while at the same time appointing themselves as the indisputable experts. If you question any part of the feminist dogma on this issue, why then you must be either a misogynist or an abuser yourself. Nobody wants to be seen as "defending" abuse, so rather than considering the extreme complexity of this issue, it's much easier to let somebody else deal with it. The feminists have been very good at presenting it as both a political issue, and a “women’s” issue, while at the same time appointing themselves as the indisputable experts.

If you question any part of the feminist dogma on this issue, why then you must be either a misogynist or an abuser yourself. Nobody wants to be seen as “defending” abuse, so rather than considering the extreme complexity of this issue, it’s much easier to let somebody else deal with it.

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