A note regarding this article:while the article makes some good points about a horrible culture that tormented a girl, I notice it also seems to speculate a lot–and further, it seems not to note that literally three times as many teen boys commit suicide as teen girls, which probably indicates that there’s a little something more going on when a child is tormented and ostracized than an anti-female culture. We actually consider it more tragic when a girl dies than when a boy does. And we tend to think “he had it coming” if a boy is tormented, sexually or otherwise.
I’d have to say our culture, whatever its misogyny, is in many ways overshadowed by its blatant misandry.
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And we tend to think “he had it coming” if a boy is tormented, sexually or otherwise.
Tto quote Tonto, “What you mean ‘we’, white man?”
Most cultures tend to value men’s souls and women’s bodies. If a woman dreams of a career as a scientist, and if those dreams are crushed and she spends her life taking care of aged relatives and/or children, this is not seen as a tragedy.
However, if the same woman died as a result of her work, this would be seen as a terrible thing, even if she was willing to take that risk.
It’s the opposite for a man. When a man’s career and achievement goals are crushed, men and women think it’s a tragedy, but when a man dies, it’s seen as a fact of life, since we expect men to take more risks and lead more dangerous lives than women.
I guess this is all based on biology, but even in an age when people are worried about overpopulation, we still have these attitudes.
In any case, I think more women attempt suicide, but more men actually kill themselves. All of these cases are tragic.
I’m going to post a comment that will probably need to go through moderation.
I don’t know whether to agree or dis-agree. I think you are stretching a point to match a conclusion that hasn’t quite been identified as a generic. So, I shall disagree.
Suicide is a sad and uniquely disturbing occurrence that affects everyone —family, friends, neighbors, students alike.
In the past few years four Palo Alto High School (California) students committed suicide —three males, one female.
http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/local/peninsula&id=7073447
http://www.paloaltoonline.com/news/show_story.php?id=12248
http://www.paloaltoonline.com/news/show_story.php?id=12248
Update:
The story line here is that all four kids out of Gunn High School did themselves on one locale of the railroad tracks near the school, a place I frequently have to pass on the way to the Palo Alto VA Health Care Center. The area is middle to affluent in the Stanford University community.
What demographics are involved are uncertain but if I had to guess, it is alienation.
I know people, personally, who think that if a man doesn’t work his entire life at soul-sucking jobs–two or even three if necessary–in order to provide for his family, even if it means he almost never sees his family or especially his children, he’s worthless and a bum. Who will say that that to a man, the only thing that should matter is that his wife and kids are fed and sheltered, and nothing else.
It’s sick, but it’s common even in this day and age. In my experience, anyway. I plan on working hard to make sure my sons never believe that sick mentality.
You don’t have to fix what isn’t broken, Dean.
When young men and women die, that’s tragic. When men and women live soul crushing lives, that’s also tragic. I’m just talking about which things all societies view as tragic and which they consider to be beyond the pale.
If a man has to do soul-crushing work to support his family, and if he never gets a chance to reach his achievement potential, most societies, including ours, see that as more tragic than when a woman has to do the same thing.
Women had to fight for the right to join the military, and even now, when they ask to participate more fully, the response is usually ‘how would you feel about women coming home in body bags?’ It’s just assumed that this is somehow beyond the pale.
It may be misogyny or it may be misandry and I’m not saying that this is a good thing but most societies see things that way.
“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you.
The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration.
You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.”
Wayne Dyer
What shallow irrelevancy, McK. Pop psych Wayne Dyer’s ridiculous platitudes have absolutely nothing to do with what’s under discussion here.
Ever since Columbine, I’ve thought that if somebody had paid the slightest bit of attention to those boys who were so miserable, then tragedy may have been averted.
Same goes for desperate men who get to the end of their ropes and go out shooting.
Seems we are forever expecting more and more from our men and boys, while not, as a society, being willing to give any more back.
Sometimes what Dyer says applies —sometimes it doesn’t apply.
You decide.
I still have a comment in moderation.
Comment released.
I linked to a piece claiming a girl had committed suicide because of our “misogynist” culture of sex-shaming girls. I merely noted the simple fact that boys are three times–THREE TIMES!!–more likely to commit suicide, and that teens generally commit suicide for the same sorts of reasons–being ostracized, picked on, and abused. But we, ironically, don’t get upset until teen GIRLS do this, and wring our hands over how to help GIRLS rather than how to help KIDS.
Telling kids on the brink of suicide (or the survivors of those who did) to read inspirational material is all well and good, but it’s really not relevant to the issue that I can see.
Thank you for the release from moderation.
The story line here is that all four kids out of Gunn High School did themselves on one locale of the railroad tracks near the school, a place I frequently have to pass on the way to the Palo Alto VA Health Care Center. The area is middle to affluent Stanford University community.
What demographics are involved are uncertain but if I had to guess, it is alienation whatever form that may take.
Q
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