Meet the female paedophile

The only criticism I have of this video is the suggestion that female molesters primarily use objects. We don’t even think about vaginas being useful this way, although of course they are. Or the myriad other ways women may sexually assault without having a penis or needing an object.

My experience in talking about these things is virtually identical to what James Landrith and others have described: laughing, scoffing, shaming, denial, name-calling, blistering anger, and so on. I’ve even, oddly enough, been accused of being “just as bad as the radical feminists” for saying that women are considerably more likely to be sexual predators than most people believe, no matter what evidence I produce. How is it being woman-hating to note the simple fact that women are almost as likely to offend in this area as men are?

Is it coded in our genes to believe women aren’t sexually dangerous? Perhaps. But as Michele Elliot says here, we didn’t used to fear men and assume women innocent quite so quickly in generations past as we do now. We’ve gone backwards, not forwards, on the subject of sexual assault and abuse.

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Damsel In Distress!

Adria Richards is an embarrassment to all women, but most especially women in technology. The only thing “sexist” about this entire affair was Richards’ appalling and grossly unprofessional behavior. I usually don’t wish anyone to be fired from their job but I frankly hope she never works in IT again. At least, not unless she unreservedly apologizes and takes 100% ownership of her own deplorable behavior.

Is that likely? I doubt it. Since she’s a woman, Female Privilege will likely assert itself, and White Knights will rush to her defense. She probably could have shot these guys dead and people would be defending her, the situation has gotten so bad here in America. If this was what most women were like, I would declare myself a misogynist and would probably favor laws banning women from the workplace because it would make it inarguable that they are unfit and incapable of functioning like adults. Fortunately, I know better: most women aren’t like this. But shame on her, shame on those treating her like a damsel in distress rather than the total jackass she is, and shame on the misogynists who call themselves “feminists” who think her actions were in any way appropriate or who are condemning those of us who call BS on her BS behavior.

If she were an adult and a professional she would apologize sincerely. And I mean for all of it, every single bit of it, every single action and word she took on this entire affair, and accept 100% responsibility. Furthermore, she and any woman with any self-respect ought to condemn the “Ada Initiative code of conduct,” which is an obscenity.

Women: make a choice. Did you want equality or did you want a world that bends to your sensitivities and keeps a fainting couch handy any time you happen to randomly feel the need for it? Are you functioning adults or pearl-clutching ninnies? Enough of this crap. If you want to be treated like an equal adult, start acting like it. Otherwise, seriously, stop pretending you want to be treated like an equal, because you’re obviously just a privileged over-entitled brat demanding special privileges and special treatment.

Anything further I have to say, Janet Bloomfield says it better. I could just write “what she said” and leave it there. I probably will.

*Update*: Like or hate their tactics, I think this outright assault on the geek community is getting unsurprising results. Like hypocritical damsel in distress Anita Sarkeesian, this is an example of people who think they can act like bullies just because they’re women, then hypocritically complain about sexism.

*Update 2: Can we get Amy Poehler fired?

I’m just kidding, I ADORE Amy Poehler. But the social double standards are astounding.

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The Female Stalker

The female stalker: she’s become a joke in our current culture. And let me say in advance, I find the below video screamingly funny, in fact I nearly peed myself laughing watching this. I am a huge fan of this girl. You can subscribe to her channel right here. I’ve been a fan of hers since she first hit the scene. Anyway, the funny video:

Now, again, this is funny. I am not attacking it.

However, it’s fascinating, isn’t it, that it would not be funny at all if she were a dude. Now, why? I submit that it’s because culturally, we believe men are violent, predatory, and dangerous and need to be tamed, whereas, we believe women are frail and weak and pretty much by definition are not-dangerous. I think there may even be something biological about it, based on something called “neoteny.” I remember introducing Karen Straughan to the term and she did a long video on it which you may enjoy, but in short, neoteny is the retention of childlike physical traits into adulthood. Human females are more neotenous than human males on average, although it is not purely a sex thing; Asian men tend to be somewhat more neotenous than the average white man, just for example (although of course there’s huge variation, it’s not an ironclad rule by any means). But between humans around the world, females are more neotenous than males: they retain smaller stature, less pronounced brow ridges, higher pitched voices, less musculature, less body hair, softer skin, etc. and if you look hard you start to realize that a lot of women’s “beautification” techniques — not all, but a large portion of them — are methods to increase neotenous appearance: getting rid of body and facial hair, softening skin, softening hair, making their eyes look bigger, and so on.

What this appears to my eye to do is to heighten men’s protective instincts toward women, and it also seems to heighten women’s protective instincts toward women. Although there is arguably a biological component to this, I think we live in a time and culture where that nominally healthy instinct has been kicked into overdrive. Women appear to be encouraged to see themselves as potential victims waiting to happen (even though men are statistically more than twice as likely to be the victims of violent assault than women are, and are statistically far more likely to be the victims of sexual assault by females than most people realize) and men as beastly domineering predators and oppressors. I believe both liberals and conservatives are guilty of this impulse, and it’s not healthy for anyone: it infantalizes women and demonizes men, especially when we allow our subconscious impulses to override our rational thought processes. “Wait, she can’t really be dangerous, she’s just a cute girl!”

(And yes, cute girls get away with more than not-so-cute girls, by the way.)

All of it seems to me to be very well encapsulated in the (in my view sexist) phrase “men’s violence toward women,” which is apparently now an acceptable part of political and civil discourse, as the so-called “Violence Against Women Act” goes up for renewal. Factually speaking, women commit the vast majority of violent child abuse, neonaticides, and murder of small children, yet I am virtually certain there would be an avalanche of protest and rage if anyone started campaigns to “end women’s violence against children,” let alone any campaign to end women’s violence against men (which is, again, far more common than most people realize).

I post this in part as an observation in its own right, and also in continuation of a previous discuss on why male victims of sexual assault by females do not report and how I believe this also contributes to a cultural climate of infantalization of women and demonization of men. Feel free to continue to discuss any such related issues here. I think these things do go together.

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No matter what they do, men are shamed

What does this cultural narrative of shaming men that my friend Typhon describes above, especially toward men who speak on their own behalf or on behalf of men in general, look like? Here’s a handy guide. Amazingly, every single one of these have been leveled at me throughout my entire life, and in the last year especially I think I’ve gotten every single one in some form or other.

An interesting thing happens when you cease to respond emotionally to any of these common shaming tactics, and decide you just don’t care if people say those things about you anymore. I suppose you could call this “I don’t care what they think” attitude somewhat sociopathic, but it’s remarkably freeing. I get “code blue,” “code green,” and “code lavender” most often from conservative traditionalists. Liberal/leftists, on the other hand, appear particularly fond of “code orange,” “code purple,” “code brown,” and “code black.” Self-described feminists also often seem particularly fond of “code tan,” while “code pink” appears wildly popular with everybody. Every time I get one of these I just smirk, make note of it as confirming that the person has no rational arguments against what I’m saying, and move on with a chuckle.

The only thing I find myself wondering is this: what is the origin of all this shaming of any male who advocates for men and boys without feeling the need to bend to females’ delicate sensibilities, or bend to the dominant mentality of “but we should acknowledge women have always had it worse or at least just as bad” narrative? Is it something innately biological that can’t really be overcome? Or is it mostly cultural, and something that can be overcome by rationality and reason, by making people stop changing the subject and focus for once in their damn lives on boys and men in a positive way, period?

One thing I note: the below brilliant TEDx presentation by Glen Poole disappeared into obscurity very quickly:

…which seems to be what happens to everyone who is kind, thoughtful, and rational about these things. Ignore it, let it disappear into obscurity, possibly slander the person, and otherwise move on to the pressing challenges we face to make the world a better safer place for women and girls. And of course, more shaming of men if we bother bringing them up again.

Every one of the statistics Poole gives in his presentation above are essentially identical in the United States, except the suicide rate for American men is even higher (and it goes to about 10:1 in the wake of divorce by the way). There’s also the 93% of all workplace deaths, the much higher number of male domestic violence victims than most people want to acknowledge, the higher rate of long-term male unemployment, or the much higher male victims of sexual assault than people generally want to acknowledge. Indeed, if you include prison rape, not even counting the other areas where men are all but obliterated from the discussion of sexual victimization, men are raped more often than women–which is the subject of widespread culture humor rather than the gross human rights travesty it is. Leading many of us to conclude that there simply is no point in being nice anymore: not being nice to feminists, not being nice to conservative traditionalists, not being nice to anyone who won’t stand up and start taking these things seriously, and especially refusing to be nice to people who attempt to marginalize, equalize, or change the subject back to women and their problems yet again.

The next time you read yet another article on how young men need to “man up” by some conservative bloviating like a douchebag, a feminist shill talking about the inherent inferiority of males, or just another generalized handwringing wail of bewilderment at the declining state of males, you might want to start to ask yourself, “is there any possibility, perhaps, that we have a cultural attitude that when girls need help we need to bend over backwards to give them everything they need and even everything they want, but that treats struggling, suffering, and in-trouble men and boys like an afterthought or even a nuisance?

I am often told that A Voice for Men, which I am Managing Editor of, is much too harsh in tone and language and that’s why we get so much grief. Because we’re rude and we’re unapologetic about being rude. But I long ago came to the conclusion that if an “eff you” attitude is the only thing that works to get through to the gender ideologues and the powers that be, then, by God, I’m happy to help eff their shit up. And by the way, it does appear to work, since A Voice for Men passed up the #2 feminist web site in the world in early January of this year and looks set to crack the top 50,000 web sites worldwide before the end of the year, despite all the pathetic attempts to paint the site as a “hate site” and even to attempts to censor it by Symantec/Norton and even more pathetic attempts to ban it from University campuses.

Something really seems to get people upset when men and boys openly advocate for themselves without apology, and when people of all sexes and orientations call out misandrist bigots who treat boys and men like garbage, regardless of whether those bigots are male or female, straight or queer, black or what, feminist or anti-feminist.

I have two sons, and they’re growing up in a world that is ever more hostile to them. I’m not taking that lying down. And if you have sons you love, or brothers or boyfriends or fathers or uncles or even just male friends you give a damn about, stop pretending like they’re a auto-privileged class and start looking at them like human beings for God’s sake.

Men’s Human Rights Activism: the radical notion that men are human beings.

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Transgender, Misandry, and Abuse

I was recently contacted by a young person caught in an abusive relationship. This YouTube video I recently did on it got a lot of positive feedback.

I know some of you can’t stand watching videos for whatever reason but I thought some of you might like it and might want to discuss it, so here it isl

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