Category Archives: humor

Most Boring Band Name Competition

So I was talking with a friend of mine from Down Under and he tells me he’s got a competition going with his brother: come up with the most boring band name you can possibly think of.

Not necessarily a real band (although “OK Go” has a really terrifically boring name), but any name that sounds plausibly like a band name, but just has to be boring. So boring you’re pretty sure you wouldn’t want to see them just because of the name.

I first came up with “Knockwurst” which is pretty good. Who wants to see a band called that? Except, it’s got a slight hint of irony to it, they might be a gag act of some sort. He also suggested “The Bay Doors” or “The Unloading Bays.” “PC Compilers.” I suggested “Interesting.”

He says his brother’s entry, so far uncontested, would be “A.S.A.P.” Who the hell can come up with something more boring?

But then he and I came up with this, I’m not sure which it was as we passed them back and forth. But I say this has to be the most boring band name you could think of:

“Proven Track Record.”

I defy anyone to come up with a more boring name for a band than “Proven Track Record.” I would probably pay money to avoid seeing that band.

Anyone think you could beat that? “Proven Track Record” is so boring, if you ask in an hour “what was that name again?” I guarantee you’ll have to come back here and look at it, it’s so boring it flies out of your brain.

Go on beat that. I dare ya.

Drunk Nate Silver

I’m sorry, but if you don’t think this is funny, you are just too butthurt to realize the sun really still will come up tomorrow. Believe in your country, laugh at your follies as well as the follies of your foes, love your children and your neighbors, and get on with your life, which is in the end much too short to indulge yourself in needless pain caused by not always getting your way. Live to fight another day, and remember always: we’re only human.

Captain of our fairy band,
Helena is here at hand,
And the youth, mistook by me,
Pleading for a lover’s fee.
Shall we their fond pageant see?
Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Drunk Nate Silver predicted I would quote that back in May, by the way, but for some odd reason he was off on the iambic pentameter.